Couldn’t find a floatie that invokes aquatic bliss? Maybe you’re hosting a pool party and seeking the perfect buoyant accoutrement to shock and delight your guests. We were in the same boat (no water pun intended). Enter: Mortadella.

This floating slice is rich in saturated fats and surface area, with a diameter of 5 ft. A fleshy pink hue reminiscent of boardwalk hotdogs, Mortadella’s sweet, hand-drawn face is freckled with fatty bits and olive fragments, completing a look that can only elicit envy from her deli counter peers.

description by Emily Dinowitz